Women living alone turn things around and make their later years all about them. And guess what? They love it!
It’s “me time,” they say. So, some stay home and re-invent their lives, others travel or move away. Either way, they take back control of their lives. Living alone means you have all the space you need, make your own decisions and be accountable to no one. It’s a pretty good thing!
Many women don’t remarry because they want to be financially independent and don’t want to babysit another aging person.
“Relationships are okay as long as you don’t have to care for anyone, ” I heard over and over.
Unfortunately, many women become prey to men who want to be taken care of or who want to steal their money. I have read so many terrible stories about men (and some women) taking advantage of single women.
Nowadays, one of the reasons women prefer to live alone is to protect their savings. It’s that simple!
I was most interested in meeting a woman over 65 who finally left her husband, who lived his own life while married. He didn’t want to get a divorce because he felt entitled to be taken care of by his wife, and he went out of his way to make her life miserable. What happened?
She packed up one day and moved to another country. She told me she didn’t want to become his babysitter. She didn’t need anything from him because she had her finances in order. She was tired of working for her family. Now she’s traveling around Asia and may settle down somewhere in that part of the world. She told me she never thought living alone could be so good. I am so happy for her!
It takes a long time to finally take care of yourself; when you do, it’s amazing.
Recovering from a divorce is hard, even if it was a good divorce (if there is such a thing).
Be prepared to see life differently and be flexible.
If you want a real challenge, try creating a great social life and learning to be accepted by couples when you are living alone. It’s much easier for single men, and I don’t have a good explanation for why.
Most single women will be invited for lunch by their married (or partnered) friends. They rarely get asked for dinner.
Single women get ostracized for no reason: jealousy?
When a woman divorces, her married friends disappear and suddenly get very busy.
The newly single woman will have to be quick on her feet and start to create a social life with other single women. It’s hard to do if you’re also dealing with your grief.
You must get used to being alone again and learn to do things as a single woman.
Create new habits, learn new skills, and join a photo or book club. Join a few things you would never do and then weed out the things that don’t interest you. Make an effort to meet other single women.
Learn to enjoy being at home alone. Have fun cooking for one. Find a hobby to do at home. Read and listen to music.
Work on making new acquaintances. Notice I didn’t say “friends.” It takes time to make real friends, and by thinking of the people you meet as acquaintances, you will remove the expectation of making new friends and enjoy yourself more.
Be protective of your home. Take control of your life.
Sometimes, I think there should be an entire encyclopedia about dating at an older age, and other times, I’m so negative I can sum it up in three words: Don’t bother!
When you decide to date, do so with humor. Remember what I said about not having expectations about new friends? Well, now it’s even more important not to have expectations.
Date with no expectations!
Let things flow, take it slow, and get to know your dates. Be safe and have fun.
If you don’t want to date and want to focus on new acquaintances, hobbies, and learning to live well, do so! There’s no pressure for you to do anything that doesn’t feel good. You don’t owe anyone any explanations!
I’ve met so many women over 40 who choose to live alone. It’s normal! If one day you find yourself single at an older age, remember you’re not alone.
Living alone does not mean you have to be lonely.
Marguerite Beaty, Blogger, Photographer & Artist
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