And these are some of the things I am doing and some that I gave up.
- I stopped going to Pilates, I do weight training, and I love it. Very important for my almost 70 years.
- I stopped saying yes to everything.
- I don’t wear high heels. I’ve become the biggest fan of sneakers (trainers).
- I stopped making lists. I kind of miss doing that, but they never helped me with anything.
- I don’t give excuses for anything I do or don’t do.
- I think of myself first. I help my friends, and I am thoughtful, but I take care of myself first.
- I don’t wait for people. If someone says they’ll meet me at a certain time and they don’t show up, I leave or never make plans with them again. I’m from Brazil, and I understand that many people think it’s ok to make you wait for them. I hate it.
- I like to laugh at silly things.
- I am writing and illustrating my memoir, Alentejo Blue.
- I exercise every day. I have a personal trainer, and I don’t cancel any exercise time for anything. Unless I’m traveling.
- I love solo travel.
- I do a lot of things alone, and I love it.
- I am pretty cynical about things. Age did that to me, and I enjoy it.
How did I get to this place at almost 70?
It was a slow and crazy journey.
Do these things seem cold to you?
It’s taken me such a long time to learn how to stand up for myself. I used to give in quite a bit. It was pretty easy for people to change my mind or for me to waffle. I was constantly doing things I did not want to do.
I did that thing of saying yes to everything because I had isolated myself, and what a mistake. It was like diving into the weirdest world. Mix that with my inability to stand up for myself, and well, things were pretty awful.
So then I decided it was best to say “no” to everything and reboot.
I got a journal and wrote, and wrote and wrote. After a while, I recognized my patterns and started practicing aging ungracefully.
I had to tweak my behavior because, of course, I went too far on some things.
After a few years, I reached my goal.
I became a very independent, older woman who takes care of her life, loves people and dogs, but is protective of her privacy and passions.
Art played a big part in my refusing to age gracefully.
When I finally decided that it was ok to dedicate my time to art, my world changed. I started sketching, painting, and going to workshops to learn more about it.
I spent more time photographing and writing. I traveled for art exhibits and went to art talks. Art was no longer a hobby; it became a way of life and a reason to do things.
Changing is hard but fun. Aging ungracefully is even more fun at almost 70.
The first time I realized I needed to follow my passion was when I participated in a photo workshop with Lee Friedlander.
I was in awe of his work, and I loved his photographic sense of humor. I ate, slept, walked, and talked photography for a week or so, and went back home feeling good about myself and full of new ideas.
I started guarding that passion and those ideas and used that experience in everything I did from then on.
When you let passion into your life, it becomes a lot more exciting.
It’s easy to say no to things when they don’t fall into your passion folder.
