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The holidays are around the corner. Have you made plans to spend time with others, or are you alone for the holidays?
Is the alone part freeking you out? Holidays are difficult for older single women (and men), but you can have a lot of fun alone!
Let’s discuss the alone subject first.
Going to dinner parties alone
I spoke to an acquaintance, Annette, who described a beautiful evening at someone’s house- great food, a gorgeous table, lots of laughter. Annette felt so lonely because she was the only single person at that dinner. Annette told me that at some point, she was looking down at her plate and sorting out her next bite, and when she looked up, everyone was chatting with someone, and she had no one to talk to. It was a nightmare.
The table was “paired up,” and she felt so awkward. Annette told me she felt like running out.
So, what do you do in a situation like this? Do you end up overeating to keep your mouth full and to look busy?
Many people choose not to go out. I met another single person who stays home and won’t even take herself out for solo lunches or dinners. She meets people briefly at events or meals but stays at home most of the time. She goes to movies during the day and rushes home in the evening to watch another movie. Movies keep her going.
Going to parties alone can be awkward; sometimes, you feel disconnected, the conversation can get repetitive, and after all, no one is really trying to connect at a party.
Parties are for light conversations; you move from one group to another and chat. Or something like that. You may have made a possible friend at the end of the evening, but chances are you didn’t. And that is ok.
I don’t like parties. I feel exhausted when I am around too many people, and I get tired of trying to start conversations with different people many times over. I like going out for dinner with a small group to chat and connect. I love meeting up for coffee or wine with one or two people. Small groups are my thing. Nowadays, I skip the parties altogether.
We all have to find the best social setting for us.
The life of an older single woman (or man) can feel like a real-world version of Bridget Jones’s Diary—but with fewer love triangles and more wisdom.
However, with age often comes a more profound sense of self-assurance and the freedom to embrace singlehood without societal pressures to settle down.
Enjoy your singledom. There are more and more women choosing to live alone!
There is something extraordinary about a diary or a journal. You can spill out your guts. Write down horrible things about people who hurt you. Write down your wishes, fears, and things you love. You can draw figures to describe things, scribble, write numbers, draw lines-anything goes. It’s your journal and not meant to be seen. You can express yourself in any way you want. And best of all, a journal is private.
Journaling is an excellent way to vent. It’s important to let off steam.
Most problems just need to be regurgitated and not mulled over and over with some poor friend who will feel like a hostage!
Do you need help? Do you feel frustrated because no matter what you do, nothing changes? If you cannot find ways to help yourself, it may be time to look for someone to help you. And that is a good thing.
Think of this alone holiday as a day to honor yourself. It’s time to spoil yourself and have a great time doing so!
Plan and cook your meal. Yes, you must make an excellent meal for one and don’t worry about making too much food. You can freeze it and eat it later in the month. No excuses.
Plan a fantastic three-course meal just for you. Fill your house with lovely flowers, set the table, and make your home look festive.
If you stay busy throughout the day, you will not have time to be anxious, and you will enjoy your day. After all, you are doing things for yourself, and they are all things you like.
Remember the pandemic? It seems like such a long time ago- but we all had to find ways of entertaining ourselves, and with time, most people found interesting things to do.
Some people prefer to spend the holidays volunteering and being around people in need.
A road trip is a fun way to spend a solo holiday. Take your hobby with you and have fun discovering a new place. Take a picnic in case you can’t find a cafe!
There are more travel companies working with solo travelers. Research trips during the holidays.
Is there a possibility of meeting up with other single people for coffee?
If you don’t have a hobby or a passionate curiosity for something, this is a good time to find something.
Pick a few activities and make them your “thing.” Activities will help you feel part of something greater.
For example, painting and photography are things that you can do anywhere. Take your sketchbook and draw things around your neighborhood, or join an urban sketching group to be around people while you pursue your hobby. If photography is your thing, join a photo group.
Make your solo living after 50 a productive and fun one!
If you feel lonely, you must find ways to connect with people. This can be done slowly and naturally by joining different groups and doing activities you like.
Being alone is carrying on with your solo life; feeling lonely is something you must address carefully. Make an effort to add more social things to your life with no pressure.
Plan a day with activities that you like. Do you like to cook? Spend the morning creating a fantastic meal and decorating your table. Go for a walk, photograph or do sketches of your walk. Pick choice holiday movies for the evening.
Volunteer! Help feed people or check out if an animal shelter needs help to walk dogs.
Search solo groups on Meet-up and Facebook to see if there are any groups meeting for Christmas.
10 days before Christmas:
Decorate your home. Bring in some colorful flowers, get a small tree, or add a few festive lights throughout the house.
3 days before Christmas:
Plan your 3-course solo meal and shop for all your goodies.
1 day before Christmas:
Bake! Yes! Bake bread- you can find a simple recipe or bake cookies. Fill your home with that cozy aroma that only baking can produce. It’s soothing, and you will love it!
Christmas morning:
Cook your meal and plan to serve your solo meal mid-afternoon.
Go on a brisk walk.
Christmas eve:
It’s time for a good holiday movie or a cozy crime book.
Love Actually
The Holiday
Cozy murders: Midsomer Murders
Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine by Gail Honeyman
The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone: By Olivia Laing
Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
The Signature of All Things: By Elizabeth Gilbert
Olive Kitteridge: By Elizabeth Strout
*I’m not an affiliate
You don’t need to have a partner to enjoy this time of year
By Liz Hoggard
By Camilla Collins
Marguerite Beaty, Blogger, Photographer & Artist
Welcome to the sunny side of life for women over 50! We aim to create a space where women feel empowered, supported, and inspired to lead their best lives after 50. Join our Instagram!
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2 Responses
Já tinha saudades destas tuas newsletters.
Para além das notícias, gostei especialmente do link 50andrising.com 👌 não que eu me sinta só, apesar de viver sozinha. E de passar o Natal sozinha, também.
Fui ler, porque sou uma pessoa curiosa, e apesar de estar acima dos 50 e de estar sempre ocupada, há sempre algo novo ao ler um artigo, ao ler um livro, ao falar com alguém
Ola Teresa,
Obrigada pelos seus comentarios.
Eu escrevi o artigo porque conheci varias pessoas aqui em Lisboa que vao passar o Natal sozinhas. Algumas acabaram de se mudar e sao solteiras mas outras se separaram ha pouco e estao muito confusas. Eu ja passei varios natais sozinha e sempre passei bem.
Desejo um feliz natal e um 2025 maravilhoso!
Marguerite