Isolation: Is this the norm for the over 50?
Loneliness: The challenging issue that is affecting more and more over 50 women (and men).
Loneliness and aloneness among the over 50 crowd has become more prominent. Why? Was it the pandemic? Is it because it’s just more difficult be social? Are people over 50 and 60 less interested in making an effort to socialize?
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is the feeling of isolation, lack of confidence to change your life and, lack of social connection. It’s a personal feeling and cannot be compared nor measured.
Are loneliness and aloneness the same thing?
No! Loneliness a feeling. It’s an emotional thing. Aloneness is being alone and it’s not connected to a feeling.
Aloneness can be a choice. For example you may choose to travel alone because you want the solitude. That is very different from feeling lonely due to isolation.
Loneliness and ageing
Why is loneliness connected to ageing? The older you get the more isolated some people become. This can be due to life’s events and things you cannot control.
For example your kids may move to another state, you may move, your friends get remarried and change their lives. There are many reasons for you to find yourself more lonely and, no fault of your own.
Life happens and one day you may look around, and you are not only alone but you feel lonely.
How to deal with loneliness when you are over 50
The best way to deal with feeling lonely is to change your life slowly. Find things you can do with a group and learn to entertain yourself.
Group events:
- Classes.
- Workshops.
- Go back to school.
- Walking groups.
- Supper club.
- Book clubs.
- Photography and painting groups.
Entertaining yourself is one of the most important things you can learn to do to shift the loneliness issue.
Find things that you love to o and that don’t depend on anyone. For example, I love to sketch and photograph and I do them alone. They keep me busy when I’m traveling solo but they also allow me to join groups when I feel like being around people.
The fear of social connections when you are older
When life changes around you and you feel lonely, you may be weary or fearful of making new friends and that can make you feel more isolated.
Making new friends is a challenge when you are older. Chances are that the people you meet will have a very different education or upbringing from you and you will have to make an extra effort to find things that connect you.
Many people give up trying to make new connections.
My tip for meeting people is to find activities you love to do that are in a group situation. If you make new friends: Fantastic! If you don’t make new friends it doesn’t matter because you were doing something you love.
Sometimes, trying to aim for different types of acquaintances is a better than focusing on making friends.
Cacooning is great but let’s not over do it!
There are times that you want to be alone and read a book or go for a long walk.
Bingeing series is wonderful but be attentive not to do this for a few days in a row! It will quickly become a habit!
If you are someone who likes to be alone a lot, make sure to plan for two or three weekly group events. Cacooning is great but socialising is important for your well- being and good mental health.
It’s ok to feel lonely but don’t let it dictate your life
Feeling lonely is natural. We can’t be expected to feel happy all the time. It’s ok to feel isolated but don’t let those feelings take over your life.
If you are feeling lonely all the time you may want to speak to a professional. You may have to review a few things in your life or you could have depression or something else.
You are your best advocate. Assess yourself. Take care of yourself. Don’t let the isolation feeling take over.
Did you know a schedule will help you deal with isolation and loneliness?
Schedule weekly activities for at least three days.
Schedule three-quarters of your day for at least twice a week.
Start your morning with different activities: A walk, coffee in bed, breakfast at a cafe or a swim.
Invite people over to your place or out to dinner once a week.
Schedule things ahead of time so that you will be around people a few days a week.
End your day with a walk, meet people for a glass of wine or tea, or go to a movie. Do not end every day at home alone, create an event.
Change your daily routines and make your life more interesting
If you don’t want to create new routines, change the order of your habits.
Every day has to be different. You don’t want to get out of bed every morning and think, “Oh no, I have to do exercises with that stupid video again!” Stay in bed, have a cappuccino and then get up! Join a morning or evening walking group.
Activities help keep loneliness away
You will find out that you will feel less lonely if you are busy doing things that you like.
The key to helping yourself is to start slowly and not to have any expectations.
Be attentive to how you feel during the day and find ways to spoil yourself.
I love to have a cappuccino and listen to murder mystery books. I also love to create flower arrangements for my house. Find simple things that give you pleasure.
Research
The History of Loneliness The New Yorker
The Health Consequences of Loneliness Very Well Mind
Signs and Symptoms of Chronic Loneliness Cigna
.
Updated July 2025
Marguerite Beaty, Blogger, Photographer & Artist
Welcome to the sunny side of life for women over 50! We aim to create a space where women feel empowered, supported, and inspired to lead their best lives after 50. Join our Instagram!
Share this article with your friends!
More on Well-Being by 50 and Rising
