Sex After Menopause? Good? Really?

Table of Contents

Menopause is a big part of a woman’s life and brings many physical changes including how you feel about sex.

The end of periods might be a dream for many women but it also brings a trail of new problems.

Sex after menopause can be great, fun, and liberating, but it also comes with challenges that need attention and care.

Let’s look at some of the realities women have to face to have a healthy and happy sex life after menopause.

Please note this is NOT a scientific study!

The physical changes 

Menopause means the end of your periods and, sadly, the end of all that lovely estrogen that keeps your bones strong, body supple, and lubricated.

The hormonal decline can affect your sexual desire, vaginal tissues, and overall sexual function. The vaginal canal can become drier and thinner due to lower estrogen levels, which can cause vaginal dryness and vaginal atrophy-making sex after menopause uncomfortable and painful.

Don’t worry! Doctors now have more knowledge and understanding of how to help women than they did in the “old days,” when women were sent to pasture as soon as they hit menopause.

Note that some women are lucky and don’t suffer at all during sex after menopause. Yay!

Does a woman’s sex drive come back after menopause?

Yes! Your sex drive can come back! But I suggest you address your sex issues as soon as possible.

It’s very easy to avoid sex and that awkward conversation you think you have to have with your partner: “Babe, it’s not you; it’s me!”

Remember, it’s not you; it’s your body doing a number on you.

The more you avoid sex, the more you will get used to not having sex, but your partner may not.

So many things can go badly when you don’t address your lack of sexual desire. Find a good doctor fast! If you had great sex before menopause, there’s no reason not to have great sex after menopause.

Vaginal dryness and sexual desire

Vaginal dryness is one of the most common issues for pre-menopausal, menopausal, and postmenopausal women. If dryness is your only issue, talk to your doctor and ask for the best vaginal moisturizers or lubricants for you.

Sexual desire 

Stay healthy and take care of yourself during pre-menopause and menopause.

One of the problems with the menopause phase is the stress your body goes through; night sweats, hot flashes, brain fog, and constant lack of energy will not help your libido!

  1. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT): HRT can help with low estrogen symptoms.

  2. Vaginal Moisturisers and Lubricants: Can reduce the friction and discomfort of vaginal dryness, making sex more enjoyable.

  3. Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Regular exercise, enough sleep, and a balanced diet can affect desire, mood, and overall sexual health.

  4. Pelvic Floor Exercises: Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can enhance sexual function, improve your sexual response, and help with incontinence, so win, win!

  5. Talk to Your Partner: Communication can be awkward and embarrassing, but it’s crucial. If you feel terrible talking about your problems, make an appointment with your doctor and ask them to help you by talking to you and your partner together. You don’t have to do this alone.

Sex after menopause: is it better?

For many women, sex after menopause is better than ever.

Many women don’t suffer from symptoms due to lower estrogen levels and don’t go through vaginal atrophy. Life is good for them; they don’t have to worry about pregnancy and they have loads of fun.

Some women don’t think twice about not being able to have penetration sex and transition smoothly to oral sex and other types of physical intimacy and find new ways to experience sexual pleasure.

Don’t worry if you’re not one of these women because you can get help!

Sexual difficulties and sexual dysfunction

Sexual difficulties such as pain during penetrative sex, vaginal dryness, or decreased sexual arousal are common among women 40+, 50+, and beyond.

Go to a doctor to find out why you have these symptoms. Do a hormonal test and a full general exam, and then search for solutions.

You and your doctor must understand what your body is going through before you try any treatment.

Hormones and sexual function

Hormonal changes are one of the main reasons menopause affects sexuality. Lower estrogen levels can affect the vaginal lining, reducing natural lubrication and elasticity. Estrogen replacement might be an option for you.

Estrogen replacement is not for everyone. If you have had estrogen-related breast cancer, your doctor will probably not recommend it. Estrogen can affect other types of cancer or general illnesses, and you will need to have a chat with your doctor before you choose any treatment.

If estrogen is an issue, look for an estrogen-free vaginal lubricant. Talk to your doctor about how to use lubricants correctly because the idea is to keep your vagina lubricated, so you may need to use a cream a few times a week – on the days you’re not having sex.

Do you feel overwhelmed talking about your sexual issues?

Consider seeing a sex therapist if you and your partner are stuck on how to navigate this new phase.

You may need to change your views on how to have fun sex.

Remember Dr. Ruth on American TV? She talked about sexual issues in such a fun way! She always had the solutions, so don’t dismiss the idea of seeing a sex therapist.

women at a bus stop holding huge boxes written vibrator on them. Sex after menopause article

Dr. Ruth was fantastic because she addressed sexual issues in a non-confrontational manner and with twinkle in her eye.

Relax, it’s just sex

We need to relax and lighten up while we search for solutions.

A sex therapist can help you with your personal sexual issues

Lack of sexual desire can be tricky to address, and I think this is where a sex therapist can help a couple. A therapist will remove the stress and pressure on the partner, feeling less desire, and help the couple find a solution without blame games.

Interview a few therapists to find one that fits.

Take care of yourself! There’s no reason not to have sex after 40, 50, 60 and more!

As Baddiewinkle says in her book “SEX: It’s even better when you don’t have to fake it.”

Baddiewinkle. Baddiewinkle’s Guide to Life (p. 71). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

How to boost sex drive after 40, 50 and beyond

If you want to boost your sex drive during menopause, try these:

  1. Stay Active: Physical activity will increase blood flow and overall mood. This will help your sex life. If not – at least it will keep you healthy.

  2. Manage Stress: Reducing stress through mindfulness, meditation, or counseling can increase your interest in sex. Remember, the more stressed out you are about not being able to have sex, the worse it will be.

  3. Prioritize Your Health: A healthy diet, regular sleep, and a healthy weight will make you feel better about yourself.

  4. Explore New Ways of Intimacy: Talk to your partner and try different types of sex.

Does sex help with menopause symptoms?

I say: “Yes!” Being sexually active will reduce stress, make you feel good, and help your relationship. But- I don’t know if it helps with “menopause” per se.

Overcoming sexual issues: You are not alone

Sexual issues during menopause are common, but you don’t have to face them alone. See a healthcare professional, try safe sex practices, and talk to your partner openly.

Sex after menopause

Menopause is the end of one phase and the beginning of another.

Look for help when you feel overwhelmed; you don’t have to face anything alone.

Find a good doctor who will help you with your physical issues due to hormone deficiency, vaginal dryness, and pelvic problems.

A sex therapist is a great way to get support.

Marguerite Beaty, Blogger, Photographer & Artist

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